An open letter to Mr. J.T. Lambert
1/31/03 @ 12:23 PM
Dear John T. Lambert,
Since you have taken time out of your day to send me an unsolicited email, I thought it would only be just for me to give you some unsolicited advice in return. In regards to your email (subject: Christopher, I am a real person) there are a couple of things you might want to consider:
1) While you may indeed be a very 'real person,' the fact that you need
to announce this suggest a touch of insecurity on your part. In which
case I would suggest that you take a day or two off from your heavy load of
spamming work and ask yourself a few introspective questions.
Such as: Am I really real? and How do I know I'm real and not some
script sending out random emails?
2) If, after much soul searching, you confirm your state of existence,
then I recommend you make note of a few things. I couldn't GAF whether
you are a real person or not, nor do I care what you are selling, buying,
leasing, loaning, or giving away. Instead of sending out endless amounts of
cyber-litter, may I suggest you do something more constructive, like verifying
the potentiality of recreating Jackass stunts.
Sincerely,
Christopher
A semi-real person
