Indecision

2/04/03 @ 11:28 PM

Well, it would seem my Give-a-shitter has quit working again.  I’m thinkin’ it’s the batteries, but it’s really hard to tell considering I can’t even find the damn thing.

I’ve started processing the applications to our Guarenteed Professional Program (Roughly 90% of them are pre-med), and you really wouldn’t believe some of these kids.  They are all at the top of their respective classes, of course, but some of these kids have been taking college courses, volunteer work, and a whole barrage of other extracurricular activities that center around their anticipated profession.  I was talking with a friend at work about this the other day, and it just kills me that these kids know (and have known for some time) exactly what they want to do with their life.  I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, and these kids have dedicated the last 6-8 years of their life working on just getting in to college where they will spend another eight or so years.  To devote that much time and energy really indicates a strong conviction about where they want to go.  Granted, some of them are being pushed by their parents, but I flip through these applications and you can just tell that they have focused their entire life toward this one goal.  Don’t misunderstand, I’m not making fun of them, I’m just trying to understand.  Truth be known, I’m a little envious.  I have always been average, or slightly better than average at most things I attempt, but I don’t seem to have any real skill in one certain area. 

Where are you going with this?

I don’t know really, except that it has been on my mind a lot lately.  I’m having some serious doubts things.  I don’t even have a singular or predominate passion.  A big 6th letter to it all.  I hinted at some of this here, and I guess what I’m really thinking is:  I don’t want to find out years from now that I would have been much happier and more successful doing something else.  Egh.