Alternate Love Story endings. For Dust
#1 The next time he saw her she was in her Golf heading his way at a considerable speed. She swerved off the road, crossed the ditch, and slid to a stop at his deck. Leaping out of the car she started babbling "That's so sweet! That's so sweet!" So, they got married, made naked babies and all lived happily ever after.
#2 Sometime later that week, Jason noticed a personal ad in the paper.
Did you send cookies?
(317) 555-6942
He hemmed. He hawed. Finally, he called.
"Hello?"
"Ah, yes. Uh, this is Jason. I live up the street. . . with the deck?"
"Yes?"
I was, uh, just calling to tell you that I made you those cookies, and . . ."
"You dirty rotten [BLEEP] [BLEEPITY] [BLEEPIN'] [BLEEPER]. What the hell were you trying to do, kill me? I just spent two weeks in the hospital because of those damn things! Ever had your stomach pumped Jason?"
"Uh . . ."
"Well, let me tell you it hurts like hell. And just so you know, I'll be forwarding the hospital bill to you!" CLICK
Jason, of course, plummeted into misery and guilt. As nothing dilludes misery and guilt like a bar, that's where Jason began to spend his off-work time. One bleary-eyed night several weeks later, a barfly, Suzy, attached herself to him. "What the hell," he thought, and decided to take her home. Halfway home, with Suzy still attached (literally), Jason swerved to miss a dog, over-corrected and ended up cracking into a telephone pole on the opposite side of the road. He survived with three cracked ribs and a broken collar bone. Suzy didn't. Jason was sentenced to five years in prison for involuntary manslaughter. He will be released on parole in August of 2004.
